Her brightest light
by justformemories
Summary: She's been gone 15 months, how will the avengers react when they see her again? And why is there a stroller in the conference room?


"He's mine, isn't he?" he asked in a whisper. She choked on the air in her throat, the tears burning the back of her eyes. How did he know? How could he know? That's how this started and it could have been avoided if only she had stood firm when she said she couldn't come in today.

The phone vibrated again. It danced its way across the coffee table. Her arms were heavy, like lead, but she couldn't be mad at him. She bounced the baby gently as he sucked on his fingers. She wasn't ready to go back and yet she knew she needed too. She sat on the sofa and bounced the baby on her leg; his eager cerulean eyes snapped to look at hers. They almost had the same color eyes, but yet, his father had to show himself somewhere besides the blonde in his hair. He smiled around the fist in his mouth and squealed a happy squeal. Victoria sighed.

"Your mama is a chicken. A big ole chicken shit. I know I need to get back to work but I don't want too." She looked directly into Alexander's eyes and he looked right back. No, his father's eyes looked back. Somehow, everything was about to come to a head and no matter what a large part of the fault would end up on her head. The phone vibrated again, light flashed from its screen. She held Alexander tightly and he squealed again, hand completely removed now. Victoria let out a breath she didn't even know she had been holding and reached for the phone.

"Victoria here" she spoke strong and direct; it would be expected of her. No one needed to see the pain, the anxiety she hid. Her son was the only person that was able to sense anything going on, after all, babies can sense things around them. It was a quick, urgent call. No arguments were accepted; babysitter or no she needed to be at this meeting or needed to find another place of work. Slowly, Victoria stood up, kissed her son on the cheek and put him in his crib so she could pack the bags she would need.  
Even though she had been gone almost 15 months, she hadn't stopped working. She just…didn't go into the office. It probably didn't help that she had changed her number and stopped answering personal emails. It wasn't that she was ashamed, scared was a different story. What happened shouldn't have happened and she didn't need the media in her life, or alexanders. Fury understood this and accepted when she handed her paperwork directly to him for a leave of absence. She'd been lucky that Fury didn't ask questions, only that he requested that she continue working even if at a distance. So she packed up what she needed and left, not telling anyone, limiting contact with her friends and with little to no family to speak of, she left.

Alexander had been the bright spot in the last 15 months. Victoria never regretted keeping him. However, she did regret not telling the father as soon as she knew. The trouble was how to tell him when he was gone? Off fighting in a never ending cycle of good versus evil, looking for his lost friend; he hadn't even wanted a family after all he had been through; he was settled. She knew she wouldn't keep Alexander away, but she didn't want him to pay for her mistakes. He was innocent in all of this. He was a strong, sturdy, determined baby boy and he was almost an exact replica of his father. Her heart could barely handle looking into his baby blues when he was born. It had been a rough delivery. She had been narrow and his shoulders' broad like his fathers, both clavicles had been broken. Her poor, sweet little boy. But he was always happy, always had a sunny disposition while she cried over the pain he must be feeling. He was definitely his father's son.

She picked up her laptop case and set it in the bottom of the stroller, followed by his diaper bag, the cold carry bag that had readymade meals for him and the extra blanket she always kept for emergencies. It wasn't that she expected anything bad to happen, but she knew the line of work she was in, so she pulled her gun out of her purse to make sure it was loaded but the safety was on. The knife hidden under the bags was a gift from one of the closest friends she had; "Always be prepared for the fight that's coming, even if you don't think it's possible". Double checking everything she went to pick up Alexander who was bouncing in his play pin; back and forth, hands and knees, he'd be crawling soon.

"Ready for an adventure my love?" She kissed his strawberry blonde hair and lowered him gently into his stroller. He clapped his hands and cooed. She took a deep breath and they were out the door and on their way into the office.

Phil Coulson was the sort of guy that took things in stride, it was very hard to shake him. But watching a stroller roll out of the elevator followed by Victoria Ontz was the last thing he thought he'd ever see. She had suddenly been assigned elsewhere and even he couldn't find her. Fury on the other hand, walked straight over to her and began to run through the meeting's highlights and handed her the file and walked away.

"Um, did that just happen?" he queried as he walked next to his boss into the meeting room. The only response was "No questions" and when Fury said that, no questions were asked, no matter how much they tried to escape one's mouth. Coulson nodded and continued to set up for the meeting. Victoria entered and sat towards the back, unpacking efficiently and quietly. A small coo came from the stroller and her attention immediately went to it. Coulson watched as she pulled out a baby keyring and placed it into the stroller.

"You can just come say hi. I know you're watching me, have been since I got off the elevator." Victoria hadn't bothered to look up from the stroller. He cleared his throat and willed himself to move. It wasn't that he couldn't picture Victoria as a mother, he could, well, kind of. She had always been so shut off from everyone, even the team had a hard time breaking her out of her shell. She was fiercely loyal and feisty when needed. But she had been so focused on the team and any other work that was handed to her that he didn't think she had someone else in her life. He had finally reached the stroller and cleared his throat again and peered in.

"Don't be so nervous. He's just a baby, won't hurt you." Victoria had moved to continue setting up her station; laptop, paper, pens, recorder, water bottle and a cold carry bag. Coulson stared as he looked at the little boy; strawberry blonde hair in soft waves, cerulean eyes, soft cheeks…his head shot up as he blinked rapidly at Victoria. She could feel his eyes starting a fire in her neck. Her back straightened further and she gripped the chair back tightly.

"He's…" Coulson was shaken. It wasn't a horrible thing, but it was not something he was expecting. Especially since he worked with Alexander's father; was a fan of his fathers.

"My son? Yes. Considering I carried him for almost nine months and gave birth to him. He's almost a perfect mix of me and his father, though he tends to favor his father a little more than me. But that should be considered a good thing, right?" it was at this moment her anxiety started to rear its ugly head and she choked on her words. She blinked and felt heat creeping up on her face. She gasped slightly for air. Coulson nodded. He had no right to say anything. No questions. A tight smile crossed her lips and she nodded back.

The room slowly started to fill up, the occasional blank stare would slide across the room and notice the stroller. The cover had been pulled over and a blanket had covered the rest of the handle and the opening of the stroller. Fury nodded and began to speak.

"You may have noticed Victoria Ontz is back and yes, that is a baby stroller. No questions are to be asked. Focus on the task at hand." He went on and everyone scribbled or typed away on their pads of paper or laptops, tablets, what have you. Tony Stark on the other hand, clearly had no incentive to actually listen to Fury and was staring at the stroller, waiting. Pepper poked him more than once and he shook her off. Natasha ground her teeth, tightening her jaw, no doubt questions burned in her mind as well. Bruce, Steve and the rest of the Avengers stared straight ahead.

It was more or less a half hour into the meeting when a small burble could be heard from the stroller. Victoria glanced quickly under the blanket and made a small quieting noise. You could hear a gently clanking of the keyring being shook. Steve turned slightly to glance over his shoulder. She felt his eyes on her back. Another coo and a giggle. She rocked the stroller back and forth gently. Fury didn't even blink, he turned and continued with the video on the screen and spoke to individuals here and there. Coulson peeked over his shoulder once in a while, but having been lashed out at earlier, he figured he'd talk to her later. A full out laugh from the stroller caught everyones attention and Victoria felt the fire enginge red blush cross her face.

"Oh for God's sake! I wanna see the baby!" Tony shot up from his seat and made grabby hands at the stroller. Pepper caught him by the collar of his shirt and yanked him back to his seat. Victoria could swear Fury growled and Pepper was speaking forcefully into Tony's ear. Victoria licked her lips and moved the blanket from the top of the stroller. All eyes were on her and waited for the baby to appear. It was as if time had stopped, or at least moved as slow as molasses as she picked her baby boy up and cradled him close to her. Hawkeye smiled softly and began to wave his fingers at the baby. A gurgle of joy came out of the mouth of Alexander and he began to bounce on both legs as his mother held him and stared at the screen of her lap top. Natasha had what looked to be moist eyes. While Tony wasn't a huge fan of kids, he knew this baby had a wicked mother and was bound to be as awesome as her. He also looked a little familiar. Bruce tightened his grip on the arms of his chair and Steve stood up like a rocket. That was all the work that was going to get done today.

Fury sighed and wiped a hand over his face. "Break, 10 minutes." He waved his hand and most of the people in the room disappeared.

"Get it over with Victoria. I want to finish this damn meeting." He grumbled. Victoria stood and bounced the baby in her arms.

"This is Alexander. He's 6 months old and the brightest light in my life." She kept her eyes on her son, who, consequently, was looking around at the people who had gathers around him. He smiled and tucked his head against his mother's shoulder. Pepper "aw"ed and Tony continue to make grabby hands. Coulson sat in his chair, hands crossed in front of him. Hawkeye continued to make finger motions at the baby and began to make funny faces at him when Alexander turned his head to peek out.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Natasha choked. "We couldn't reach you. Fury said you had another assignment?!" There was anger in her voice now. "We could…I could have helped you!" It wasn't that Natasha didn't have emotions, it was just very rare that she displayed them so easily. Bruce had pushed his way behind her and had both arms wrapped protectively around her shoulders and waist. "What if something had happened!?" her voice was rising. Bruce whispered gently into her ear and slowly began to move her back towards the front of the room. "I missed you!" She screeched. Victoria tucked her face into Alexanders neck and inhaled. His soft baby scent mixed with powder, that's what kept her calm. Hawkeye sighed and walked over to his partner, talking to her, soothing her. Victoria couldn't help it then. Warm tracks led down her cheeks. Now she was ashamed. Now she was embarrassed. Having been on the other side of a black widow chewing out, Tony sighed and pulled Pepper with him to get a cold drink for the girl. Steve continued to stare.

They say a mother loves their child as soon as they know they are pregnant, but a father needs to see his child before he can accept that he is a father. His hand had snaked its way under Victoria's chin and had pulled her face to look at him. Alexander had started to cry as soon as his mothers' tears had touched his cheek. Without a word he took the baby into his arms and rocked him slowly back and forth. Fury ended the meeting then. The door closed and he stood outside, not allowing anyone in. Coulson followed his boss.

The sight of Steve Rogers holding the baby clammed everyone up quickly. At this sight, Victoria couldn't take it anymore and sat down hard. She wrapped her arms tightly around herself and sobbed. Natasha pushed passed the men surrounding her and held onto her friend tightly. Feet shuffled, chairs were moved and Captain America continued to rock the baby before the story came to light.

"I.." she couldn't seem to form words.

"He's mine, isn't he?" he asked in a whisper. Complete silence echoed loudly throughout the room. Victoria choked. Natasha ran a soothing hand down her back. A muted nod. Captain America sat down hard on the chair behind him. Alexander reached his tiny hand up and patted at his father's lips. No one spoke. The only question filled the air, without having to be said; Why?

Bruce was the one to speak up. "At least he's a good mix of you." Victoria snorted softly.

"I wish I could say the same. He has a great mix of our hair for now." If you hadn't noticed by now, Victoria had been the second redhead in the room.

"His eyes started out cobalt, but with Steve's eyes being lighter than my blue ones, Alexander's have gotten more of a cerulean color, but I think they'll stay the way they are now. Most baby's eyes don't change after 6 months." She looked at Steve as he gazed into the little boys' eyes. He nodded a little. Slowly he reached to touch the waves in the baby's' hair.

"He has your waves." He croaked.

"He has your shoulders." She let out a shaky breath. Bruce peered over his glasses at Steve and then Victoria. His voice almost cut deep like a knife.

"Victoria…Steve's shoulders are very broad." Natasha gripped her friends' hand. Hawkeye made the connection first, Tony after. Victoria licked her lips.

"What does that mean?" Pepper asked. Pepper was smart, she had to be to be able to rangle Tony in and run his company. Steve looked up questioningly at Bruce. Victoria could only nod.

"It means…" she took a breath. "It means it wasn't an easy birth." You could hear the breaths being sucked in. Her bottom lip trembled. Steve's eyes glistened. Bruce walked behind the super soldier and patted his shoulder. Before anyone could ask more questions Victoria continued on.

"I'm small, tiny…"

"That's what she said" a smack could be heard as Pepper hit Tony upside his head. Victoria only smiled. It was a sign that at least one thing was normal.

"I'm narrow and Alexander has more of his father in him that I would have liked at the time." Bruce gripped Steve's shoulder tightly, he knew what was coming next.

"When I was pushing, Alexander…well…they had to break his clavicle…his collar bone, on both sides. Time was not on our side and…" If you have ever wanted to see Captain America break down, now was the time. He curled over his son and cried. Gasping for air; one hand on his shoulder, Bruce rubbed down Steve's back. Victoria broke again and cried into her friend's shoulder. Tony swallowed hard and squeezed Pepper's hand. Hawkeye held his head in his hands. Victoria hiccupped as she tried to calm down.  
"He cried…But after that, he has never cried much. He always has a smile on his face. He refuses to let anything slow him down." At that moment Alexander patted at his father's cheek, his other hand tucked into his mouth. He snuggled into Steve's neck and it was like he took a deep breath in, knowing his father was there now. Steve's breath shuddered as he looked up and over at the redheads. Bruce let go and walked to Natasha, gently pulling her away. Tony, Pepper and Hawkeye followed them out of the room. This wasn't their moment. They weren't needed. They were all going to be dealing with this pain, but at this time it wasn't their hurt to deal with. Victoria kneeled in front of Steve and Alexander. The baby reached for his mother, cooing at her. His hand touched her cheek and his other hand, covered in baby drool, was put on Captain America's cheek.

"I'm so sorry…I don't regret having him. I don't want you to be forced into anything. You weren't here…and there was no telling when you would be back." She rambled on about how sorry she was but how she didn't regret having the baby. She stated she didn't need anything from him and he didn't have to be around if he didn't want to be. If he wanted a DNA test she would do it, but they both knew she didn't sleep around and neither did he. It was once, only once and the brightest light had come into her life because of it. Steve pressed a finger to her lips gently. She threaded her fingers into his and kissed the back of his hand.

"I saved everything. Sonograms, doctor's notes; I wrote a journal so if you did want to know…I kept it all. I took pictures of…everything. Just…" he knelt to the ground and pulled her flush to him. It wasn't going to be an easy road. There was anger and hurt, mistrust, but ultimately, there was love.


End file.
